Just a short story about ghosts. Word count: 1935

“Yes mom I heard you. I will be right down.” Every Christmas is the same dinner with the same people discussing the same damn things. My mom and dad fight over who how to cut the turkey properly. Aunt Belinda and Buddy, my dad’s sister and her husband, always bring a fruit cake which only they eat. My mom’s brother, Uncle Carl usually joins us and has had a thing for Belinda which is obvious to everyone except Buddy. And I sit in the middle of all of them and smile politely and try to stay out of the way.

“Max will you come down already. Dinner is ready and we are all waiting for you.”

“In a minute.” I straighten my tie. I never could do a proper double Windsor knot. Christmas dinner in the Anderson household is not normally a dressy affair, but today is going to be different. I will see to that.

I enter the dining room and get the reaction I thought I would.

“Woah, look at my nehews there.  All fancy and shit.” Uncle Carl always had a way with words.

“Oh my son you are truly coming into your own.”

“Easy mom it is just a suit.”

“Had to show up your old man eh? Sit down so we can eat.”

“Now, now Teddy, it’s not every day your son wears his Sunday best. Give him a break.”

“Thanks Mom.”

Aunt Belinda and Buddy could give two shits what I wear, but they will notice soon enough.

“All right, now that we are all here, who would like to say grace? Hmmm. Max, since you’re dress for the occasion why don’t you do it?”

“Why are we prayins for?”

“Carl if you weren’t my wife’s brother, I swear to Christ I would pop you one. We are praying for the fucking food. So that we don’t die when we eat it. Now shut up and let my boy pray!”

“Pray for love and the snow and to the angels above for making this beautiful day. Pray for good fellowship and travelling mercies to all on the road. Pray for …”

“Okay Belinda” Buddy squeaks.

“Pray for all the children of the world tonight that they may be nourished and filled with health and goodness.”

“Okay , that’s enough dear.”

“Pray for the lost souls wandering looking for that bright morning star of David to find their way home to Him.”

“That’s good Belinda, let Max pray now.”

“Thanks Uncle Buddy. I would be honoured to pray, so let’s all bow our heads.” I clear my throat and ask God to give me the courage to change everything. “Dear Lord, life is a journey that doesn’t end in death. But death is a beginning of a new life…”

I feel my dad’s hand slap the back of neck. “Pray right you idiot. Bless the food and let’s get on with it.”

“Oh Teddy, did you have to hit him?”

“Just mind your business Ethel. He’s my son too; I will do what I want.”

“Okay dad. Dear Lor…” My voice falters, I want to say what I need to but I can’t. “Dear Lord, bless us this day… and thank you… for your bounty and travelling mercies. Amen.”

A shout of amens fill the table and my dad is standing up to carve the turkey.

“What’s a travelling mercies?”

“Carl for fuck sakes, it’s when God himself drive your car or something like that. Ethel get me the better carving knife, this one’s too damn dull.”

“Actually Carl, travelling mercies is God’s way of protecting all his children from any harm that may come from the evil one.”

“Aw Belinda yous have a way with words. I’s could listen to yous talk all day”

Aunt Belinda blushes and Buddy plays with his napkin like he didn’t hear anything.

“So Carl I heard you have a job in the city now. You’re really moving up in the world but you were always the ambitious one.” Mom was always encouraging him, but I guess someone had to. I think she envied that Carl had a life outside of the home. She has always been a mom because dad made the money and no wife of his would ever have to work.

“Well I did have a job but I lost it on account of the stupid foreman. Theys got it out for guys like me. Every one now needs a Bee Aye to get a Jay Oh Bee. Yep that’s the way of this new world we’s living in.”

“Oh, that’s so unfair. I will pray to Jesus that you will find your feet again.”

“Aw, yous don’t have to do that. I’m like a cat. I always lands on my feets.” Now it was Carl’s turn to blush and Buddy was now fake smiling at me. I could almost read his mind. Someday.

“Now Teddy let me cut that turkey. You always make the slices too big.”

“Ethel no wife of mine will cut the turkey as long as I buy them.”

“Well cut them smaller then. I don’t need ten pounds of meat on my plate every year. You do this every year.”

“I do not! I cut them like my dad taught me. Meat is God’s way of telling us he loves us. We all know that Jesus handed out more fishes than loaves, so that’s what we will all get, more meat!”

“Ah Theodore, I think you misspoke about the miracle of the loaves and fishes. You never were very good in Sunday School. Why I remember when we were children you thought Moses built the Ark and John the Baptist was Jesus’ big bother.”

“I don’t remember asking you to join the conversation Belinda. I know my bible better than you and what I say goes.”

Belinda glared at my Dad like only a sister can glare.

“You’s better apologize  Theo. She’s smarter than yous in the bible. Why last Saturday night she taught me the ten commandments and they’s stuck in my head like never before.”

“Last Saturday night?” Buddy finally spoke up.

“Yes. Yes, you remember I said that I would be teaching Carl the Bible every Saturday night. He wants so desperately to be a good Christian.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that. This is the first I have heard of it.”

“Oh, don’t get your shorts in a bunch. So they are having a bible study without you. It’s not like they are doing anything. Carl is too stupid to sin and my sister is too ugly to fuck.”

“Teddy! How can you say such a thing? Oh, I never. Not in front of Max.”

“You take that back Theodore, that was too far!”

“Yeah, yous better apologize for real or you will get a knuckle sandwich in that ugly mug of yours!”

“My wife is not ugly.” I think Buddy said it, but I couldn’t be sure over all the noise.

“Shut up! Shut up all of you!” The room got quiet as I stood up and pounded a fist on the table. “I have had enough.”

“No son of mine will ever stand up to me in my house.”

“Can it dad, it’s over.”

“That’s no way to talk to your father.”

“Mom please. Just listen. I put up with all of you over the last 4 Christmases because I felt guilty for what happened. I wanted to tell people but I couldn’t. I could barely make small talk. No one could know the grief I was dealing with. But I knew it. It built up like dust bunnies under a bed. I refused to acknowledge how badly it had gotten until now.”

“What are you trying to say son?”

“You all died 5 years ago.” Their faces looked like the blinking Christmas lights. “There was a leak in the furnace and you were all poisoned. The coroner said that you felt the natural tiredness of eating turkey and slept.  The gas filled the house and you all just went peacefully.

I was supposed to come home for Christmas but I was tired of all of you fighting. So I lied and said I was invited to my girlfriend’s house for dinner. I knew you were hurt mom.  First that I didn’t tell you I had a girlfriend and then that I wasn’t coming home. The truth is I didn’t have a girlfriend. I just stayed at my place and celebrated alone.

“How could we be dead and be here?”

“Well, I came home the next year and performed a séance by myself. I had seen it a million times on TV. I sat in circle of salt and chanted your names. I cried when I heard Dad’s voice yelling from the kitchen. Mom and Carl just appeared at the table. The door bell rang and Belinda and Buddy came in. I watched as you all prepared dinner like always. I got up and joined in. I was so happy to be home with my family.

I began to come every day but the séance didn’t work. I took some time off work and chanted day and night but nothing worked. I bought spell books and sought out psychics to help and still you were all gone. The next Christmas it worked again and only at Christmas.”

“This is blasphemy!”

“How can something that brought me peace be blasphemy Aunt Belinda? And that doesn’t even matter now, I am stopping it. It’s not healthy for me to be grieving over you for this long. I need to move on with my life. I have nothing but this secret life. I have no close friends. No other hobbies. I just wait for Christmas and this dinner but I’m tired of it. I just wanted to say good bye one last time.”

“Bull shit son, you brought me back from the dead and you are going to keep me alive god dammit.”

“Communing with the dead and witchcraft, I refuse to be a part of it.  Leave me up in Heaven thank you very much.”

“Ha! Heaven? How could you be in Heaven? You were cheating on me with Carl! I for one am glad I am dead.”

“Max do me a favour.”

“Anything mom.”

“Let me go now. If I am dead, then don’t let me burden you anymore. I will always be with you.”

I watched her disappear and the rest of the table filled with gasps.

“Son don’t be rash now. I don’t want to fucking die.”

“Sorry Dad, I love you and I hope you are in a better place.”

He got up to attack me and dissipated just as he put his hands on my neck.

“Well, I want to go next.” I could see Uncle Buddy’s face. He looked like a man who was relieved but sad.

“Good bye Uncle Buddy.” And with that his chair was empty.

“Belinda, I still love yous. I know I will see yous in heaven.”

“Carl, I have always wished life could have been different for us.”

The shared a hug and I let them go also. I don’t know where we go when we die, but I hope those two ended up together.

The house was silent and dark around me. It was sound that I was too getting to use to and I decided to change that too. I picked up the phone and called Dianne from accounting. Maybe next Christmas I would be at her house celebrating and if not I can always come home.